I’m stuck between two dear friends who are on opposite sides of an issue. The conditions of the situation have caused me to give some serious thought to my tendencies-how I express myself, what causes me to argue with other people, how much control I have over my emotions, and in what circumstances do I feel that I must contend the correctness of my opinion at the expense of the unity of a friendship, an organization or the feelings of other people.
I know that this moment will pass, and my friends will eventually move on, but they will probably never be quite the same. I hope that I will be able to learn from the situation and take much more care about expressing myself. In many situations where I have the chance to speak publicly, such as during classes at church or in posting to my online book group, or even here on my blog, I seem to too easily start crusading and preaching. I take things so seriously sometimes. I hate that about myself and often wish that someone would just put their hand over my mouth. Seeing the damage that has been done here by well-meaning people doing more talking than listening convinces me more than ever of the value of seeking first to understand before seeking to be understood.
Stuck in the Middle
7 responses to “Stuck in the Middle”
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very insightful. I too need to work on seeing understanding before seeking to be understood. What great advise. I hope that your friends figure it out, sorry to hear you’re in the middle, that is a bad place to be.
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That is such a hard situation. I hate that friendships can be damaged over stuff like this because in the long run it dosen’t really matter. I have been in this same spot before and Good Luck it is rough! You are so great we all need to work on understanding before being understood! You are a great woman.
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Oh, the follies of our language. If we could eliminate misunderstanding we’d probably get along quite well.
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I’m sorry you are in such a hard spot!! It’s hard to realize things won’t ever be quite the same and I hope your friends will be able to patch things up as well as possible.
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I find myself wishing the same thing. It is hard to be in the middle, and sad to know friendships are changing.
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Oh, Kellie, I never thought of you as preaching or overly opinionated at the Nook. I think of you as quite thoughtful and wise. I wish I had the ability to express myself in words as you do! I’m with Cami.
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I’m sorry, I would just NEVER change you. I need to have you giving me your honest opinion about things, that’s one of the things I truly cherish about our friendship. I know it is SO HARD when friend things feel out of sync. I really hope it feels better soon.
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My Red Door Days 