Yesterday I went to my third Weight Watcher’s meeting. It was on a different day, so there was a different leader. I will be back to this meeting. M was stupendously motivating, smart and fun. Her approach resonated with me more than the other gal, nice as she was. So, that was neat to find out–the leader matters. In spite of it being that time of the month and me being at a conference last weekend with plate after plate of gorgeous catered food, I still lost a little weight. I’m going to keep my progress on the down-low till I feel like it’s becoming visible, but today, when I realized that my efforts, imperfect as they were, were paying off and I’d officially lost a bit more, I was surprised to find myself emotional. I actually cried a couple of joyful little tears. Strange, what our weight and body image mean to us. This body is merely the box I live in, but it’s nice to live in a decent, well-cared for box I suppose.

I’m realizing that on some days I actually don’t eat enough because of my anxiety. It’s the same proces that stops me from breathing sometimes too. I’m just thinking too hard about stuff and I don’t realize I’m hungry. So, it’s been helpful to have a flexible target and a checklist of the things I should concentrate on first. Once I have those things taken care of, it’s pretty simple to count points. I really like the program. If it turns out that I can stay on this path and be successful, I think WW would be a great place to take on some part-time work someday, so that is helping to motivate me as well. It’s just another form of teaching, and I know I’m good at that.

I’m starting to recognize a particular feeling of being in control and strong when it comes to food and exercise, and it’s a really good feeling.